The Story Behind Hysteria

At the beginning of this year I had spent some time with my 76 year old mum…it was, looking back a priceless few weeks where we discussed so much but mainly our physical and mental health alongside her family history (when I say you could make a movie from it is no joke…) and my FND that she thought was a result of her ‘crazy’ family, my ADHD and what would turn out to be her suspicions and utter relief at suspecting she had ADHD and her mother…my grandmother, a woman who not only would neither of us ever have the opportunity to meet but by the sounds of it I would have got on well with…a photographers assistant (anyone who knows me well knows my first love was photography…as a kid I spent many hours hiding in a darkroom) who had a condition so similar that it is often misdiagnosed as ADHD ..Bipolar Disorder…and she would, as a young twenty something be institutionalised and subsequently receive a lobotomy for this .

These conversations and revelations would leave me with so many emotions, anger at the historical way we have treated those with mental health conditions, the resulting impact that has on them and their family and how through my own medical experiences we hadn’t really moved that far forward. The small positive that had bought me so much joy was seeing the face of my mother who after 76 years of thinking there was something wrong with her and her family suddenly saw herself differently…you could see a weight almost lift from her shoulders…I was so excited to help my mum learn and understand ADHD and all the wonderful and incredible traits I so clearly so that I’d inherited from her….

 A few days later she would collapse with a brain aneurysm on the part of the brain that controls memory, speech and cognition. Three months down the line and she is still trying to learn to speak but also showing signs of vascular dementia. 

Anyone with a brain condition knows that the brain is a mysterious thing and should never be underestimated no matter how dark it may seem. However, I have to be realistic…it is highly unlikely we will have those kinds of conversations again. 

Our last day together before the accident I had taken her to Brighton which she adored and always commented on how wonderful it was and how lucky I was to be part of such an amazing community. Afternoon Tea, strolling the Kemptown shops, topped off by going to see my work at the Fishing Quarter Gallery that had been on as part of the Cabinet of Curiosity exhibition. Oh looking back I wish I’d filmed it…seeing her face looking round it, how proud she seemed…I wish I’d taken it slower…

Since that day…(strangely the same day the exhibition closed) and the world I’ve navigated as not been the same I have needed a channel…I want to write a book about my mother and grandmother but that’s going to involve a lot of research and my ADHD needs to have a focus and a channel now for the huge raging pot of emotions I’ve been feeling and continue to try and process…so for now I wanted to do something that would help me channel this rage into something positive and that could possibly help others like my mum…so I’m bringing you Hysteria: Women, Mental Health and Identity…a group exhibition at the Brighton Fishing Quarter Gallery April 2027…shortly I’ll be sending out open call info for artists as well as looking for people to host events and workshops.

 I really hope you’ll be involved…we all have a female of some kind in our lives…whether that’s a mother, sister, daughter…let’s ensure no one has to go through what my grandmother, my mother and so many women before them have had to endure.